2 MORE SLEEPS!

VOL. 28

Waiting for a man to propose can be like waiting to catch a flight with no arrival time,

How long is too long to wait and what do we do if that flight never taxi's in?

For some of us being with someone for only one week can feel like a connection established a lifetime ago,

for some of us that elusive chalice that is matrimony is only made more hazy by the hot summer winds of remoteness.

How do we know when the nuptials alarm will ring and what do we do when he is always hitting the snooze button?

So as we take a number and wait for our turn, I wonder, if ya like it why don't you put a ring on it?  

IT'S MY BIRTHDAY BITCH'S!

BOW DOWN TO THE KING!

I SAID BOW!!!

VOL. 27

The love bug is resilient, hard to detect and difficult to remain immune from,

It can strike anywhere, any place and anyone.

This affliction can make the most level headed person do some crazy things, but unfortunately there is no romance remedy.

Symptoms can be light headedness, weak knee's and butterfly belly.

Once bitten the patient will be prone to school girl giddiness, passionate hot flushes and horizontal mumbo fever. 

No needle to cure, no pill to pop to stop the knots (except the morning after), and no antidote to stop the swoon.

 So as we sit in the waiting room of love, i wonder when will the doctor be in?

VOL. 26

The complicated and sometimes perplexing form which is the male gender is surprisingly a lot like a good cocktail, only the finer blends make for perfect consumption.

A dash of danger, a nip of brut masculinity, a touch of sensitivity, a smidgen of mystery, a generous splash of humor, raw sex appeal to taste, and a drop of arrogance. Mix ingredients in a well tailored suit, add a smoldering smile and pour over a hot night of good wine by an open fire.

So why is it that we always have to taste the less refined, and not so put together mixers before we get to the quality proof? and like most spirits do men get better with age?

So as we stroll through the bottle shop of life, why are there always plenty of bottles of Wild Turkey, but never any Belvedere?  

VOL. 25

If we no longer wish to be with our partners we have solicitors, if you are having problems at work we have mediators, and if someone has done us wrong we have the law.

But what do we do in regards to friendships that seem to be past their used by date?

A once fresh, fun and enjoyable relationship between two people with common interests, spending time together, that has now become draining, droll and taxing on not only our time but our energy.

what do you do when the relationship is now only a one way street with constant “No U-Turn” signs posted along the road. When the two people involved seem to be focussed on one particular person instead of a nice balance of A and B?

In a world where relationships are fragile and compassion, compromise and equilibrium are essential, i wonder, is there such thing as friendship divorce? 

A POEM FOR MY WISDOM TEETH

ROSES ARE RED,
VIOLETS ARE BLUE,
YOU ARE BEING REMOVED TODAY,
THANK FUCK FOR THAT!

THE END

VOL. 24

As someone who has been in a blissful relationship for six years now, I see the dating scene not as a playground for the young and hot, but a fish tank with a mix of youthful angel fish, aggressive bull sharks and some old but persistent piranhas.

The angel fish although pretty and enticing to the eyes do not have a lot going on upstairs, the bull sharks pumped full of hormones and confidence parade around the water, self assured and cocky, and the older but wiser piranha cautiously observes his interests, careful not to scare her away, not making the same pig headed mistakes that the all to eager bull sharks do, wary not to show his true intentions until the timing is perfect. But the piranha never gets the angel fish, the bull shark does. 

What happens when you wake up one day and you are no longer the young, vibrant fish you once were? 

In the aquarium of life how do we know what species we are? and how do we avoid getting caught in the dating filter?